it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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