guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
