I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
