dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
