you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
