The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
