Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just had sex on a roof
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize