How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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