Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
