if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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