Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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