You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
