I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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