hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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