You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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