I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
