Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
