I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
