Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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