Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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