if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
