found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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