I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize