break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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