i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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