ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She told me I should be a condom model.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
