So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
