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• (503): View more from Oregon

  PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ur type is ready and willing

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game

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• (850): View more from Florida

  This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.

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