I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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