ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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