# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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