get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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