I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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