Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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