And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
