I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
