I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I had to cum in my sink.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
