is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You left your phone here
Wait...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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