The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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