I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
