Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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