Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
