yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
