i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
