And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize