I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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