I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
