I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My life is pants optional.
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