So drunk its hurt
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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