xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.