Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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