If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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