True but thats because hes a fetus.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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