3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
