i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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