i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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