im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
