'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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