you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
