Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize