you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
