she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
