Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
